Drawing's no fun anymore...

[Kasti]

My attempt at being more active here, and I'm ranting...how impressive! =]

But the only other blog I have is my art blog over at Kastiworks and I promised never to talk about things that bother me, unless I'm expressing it through art. However, that leads me to my main issue.

Drawing is no longer fun for me. In fact, it hasn't been fun to me for years (especially since I had to drop out of art school *ouch*). I'm just trying to express myself without having to worry about my style, how correct this is supposed to be, or if I could per chance make some money off of it. I know in my mind, I will never have a career in animation or sequential art.

So why can't I just do this for entertainment like I used to?? I remember in my late teens, there was a year where I was pumping out drawings one after the other. I think everybody has a time in their life when they have an extreme high in creating. And it was just for FUN. I want it back. It's frustrating. I tried so many suggestions but they never seem to work out for me. And I get depressed.

I'm so self-conscious about what I do. I think it's unfair because everybody says that I'm good, but I fear that I'm not good enough. I don't even consider myself an amateur (yeah, it's that bad). How can I possibly exercise myself in drawing without making it seem like such a CHORE. I can't even pick up a pencil without feeling exhausted.

I know there are plenty of creative people around me. They don't necessarily have to draw, because they can write, sing, sew etc, and still know how I feel. To bring back that enjoyable hobby that you used to spend hours of your time with, how can you possibly get it back? Most likely, I'm not making any sense, but I hate sitting around and brooding about it. I'm so quick to encourage other people to pursue what they want, but I can never help myself.

I don't know what to do or where to start. =/

And it's annoying.

Anyway, right now in an attempt to get myself regularly "arting" I'm doing what I call a Quest to Finish. I think one of my issues is, I never finish what I start. Whether it's a drawing or a comic (and boy! do I have a LOT of unfinished stories), I never finish. It's a personal problem I'm hoping to fix and it isn't just with drawing either. So far I'm doing pretty good. Lots of old stuff I'm finishing, but as long as the sense of accomplishment is there, I'm a little bit happy.

But the question still remains. What to do about making this hobby fun again? Or should I just quit and find something else to do? I still want to learn how to play the piano...

[Lindsey]

Try abstinence. Go learn how to play the piano, forget about art for a while. One day you'll wake up with a major itch to draw. Once you don't want it, it will come back on bite you on the butt big time. Murphy's law never fails. I really hope you find you fun again!!

[lisabond]

I like Lindsey's idea of going off and doing something else. Just consider it your cycle of life. You're just somewhere else right now. And drawing will always be there when you come back.

[Nighthawke]

The muse is a fickle thing. It comes and goes as it pleases. It's similar to a relationship. Sometimes the more you push for something, the more it creates friction and resistance.

I write as a hobby, and at times, the unction just isn't there. It is in those times, when I try to force myself to write, that my creativity is at it's worst. So I just....walk away for a time. Then, one day, when I least expect it, I'll get an idea, and I am overcome with the urge to "put it to paper".

So, fear not. Heed the advice of Lindsey and Lisabond. If you love something, you will always love it, if your love be true. Your art will always be there, waiting with a smile and open arms for your return. And you will return. Of that, I am quite certain.

[Strange Ian]

I only draw for fun, and not very often at this time, but I still know how you feel... A friend of mine sometimes has this same problem, and his way of working around it is this: whenever he starts getting self-conscious about something he's working on he takes a new paper and he either draws with his left hand instead, or if he is drawing something from real life, he draws just looking at the object, not at the paper.
That way, he say, he get's to look at his work in a new way, and you can't expect it to look good, so it takes away a lot of pressure. Also, drawing without looking at the paper, or only sneaking a short glance every 30 seconds or so, is a whole lot of fun!
Hope you find your way out of this!

[Mara]

I dont know if this will help at all but whenever i strat feeling that my art is more a chore than fun (which happens often, so I know where ya coming from) I start making collages and i find that after a while It inspires me to draw something. Even if its just a silly litytle sketch.

I also have what I call my inspiration book. It's just a simple note book that has pictures, quotes, collages, song lyrics and poems I have found that I find inspirational. Its a big help cause when you find something you like you stick it in there until you can use it later.

Like I said I don't know if any of this will help you but I hope iv'e been of some help.

[Kasti]

All of your suggestions were really helpful!

I did try just stopping altogether, but I'm such a fiend! I go right back to it because I get an itch in my hand that won't stop. It's so weird. But taking a break is the best thing I can do at the moment.

You guys are very encouraging and I can't thank you enough for listening to my whining. *laughs*